* Disclaimer* All rights to the Rurouni Kenshin Characters are Watsuki-sama's, Jump Comics, etc.  All right to the character " Incarnations" Are property of Piers Anthony.  There are references made to his book " On a Pale Horse." But you do not need to have read the book to understand what is happening. =) This is only a little fanfic by a crazed Kenshin fan, I'm a poor college art student, and not even worth suing!  Enjoy!

Authors Note-
 Well, I came up with this fic when I still believed Kaoru was dead.  But I liked the idea of it so much that I decided to keep on writing it. (Even though it's been established that, yes… she IS alive)  Consider this a "what if this happened" fic.  Kind of like an alternative where Enishi does actually kill her.   I know, it sounds awful, but believe me; this ISN'T going to be depressing! I'm determined to make it happy!  And to appease all those Kenshin and Kaoru fans out there…well… >=)
 

- A little pre-fanfic know-how about "On a Pale Horse."

The incarnations mentioned in this fic are taken from " On a Pale Horse."  In Piers Anthony's book, he takes these aspects of life and creates people for them-- much like we imagine there being a "Father Time," and a "Mother Nature."  Here, I will be making references to human incarnations of " Death," "Fate," "Time," and "Nature." ( so far-- I don't know what other ones I shall bring in from his book yet.)
 
  Oh-- Death also rides a horse, Mortus, which can also conveniently be a car (limo), boat, etc.  Whatever Death might need as a mode of transportation in the moment.
 

CHAPTER 12- Confessions

 Kaoru stood face to face with death.  Her gaze set and determined. They'd appeared in Purgatory, in his mansion.  She watched as he lifted his black cloak off his shoulders and handed it to the butler to put away.  The thin, tired looking man was once again visible, the skull illusion that hid his face faded.  He motioned her into his sitting room and she entered, he followed behind.  
  Death went and sat in his comfortable chair; Kaoru sat across from him at his bidding.
 " So-- what do you want to talk to me about?" She asked.
 " I think you know perfectly well."
 Kaoru's heart quickened.  " W-What do you mean? I have no I--"
 "-- Himura confessed his love to you… "
 Kaoru could feel her face grow red; she quickly tore her gaze from him and began to fidget nervously with the sleeves of her Kimono. " H-How did you know?"
 Death sat back and sighed.  " I've been keeping an eye on you, as you know.  And I'm beginning to become just a little bit concerned.  You're very lucky that Shishio has been acting up lately in Hell-- and so the Archangel and God and everyone have been busy with him, and your fame has settled down.  I don't think anyone else in Heaven is aware of the recent events that happened with Himura."
" Events?"
" I'm sure you know what I'm talking about…"
Kaoru lowered her eyes.
Death shook his head.  " Because you are put under my supervision, I feel it's my duty to give you this warning before it's too late."
 "W-Warning?"
 " Yes," Death leaned closer to her.  " You know what will happen if they find out-- and they WILL find out if you allow yourself to be seduced.  You cannot have any sort of relationship with--"
 " - I KNOW!" Kaoru burst out.  She began to feel the anger rise in her.  WHO was the person who put her in that situation in the first place? Death! That was who.  And here he was lecturing her… She gave him an icy look, her voice low, trying to control her anger. " I know perfectly well about rule number 3… But what can I do? I've tried to make him give me up without totally smashing his heart to pieces.  He's in a delicate condition because deep down- I KNOW he still blames himself for my death, and no matter how many times I say I forgive him, I don't think he'll ever forgive himself.  But if he thinks he can still be happy with me-- then that is the only thread that keeps him from falling apart, I can't break that thread.  I'm in a corner-- so WHAT do you expect me to do?"
 Death was silent for a long moment.  " Do you love him?"
 Kaoru was shocked by his question.  She paused, licking her lips trying to bide herself some time.  Did she love him?  She was certainly attached to him, and she enjoyed her time she spent with Kenshin.  But was that love?  She searched for a way to avoid answering the question.
 " How can I love him, when I don't even remember him?"
 Death was silent again. Kaoru sat uncomfortably, wanting to know what he was thinking.  Finally he spoke.
 " So-- that time you called me, in the rain…"
 Kaoru's eyes widened.
 " You wanted to know-- what was happening to you… You have been experiencing feelings for him, haven't you? Feelings that no angel should know exist.  "
 " I-- No! That wasn't the reason!"
 " Then what was the reason?"
" That--" She tried desperately to come up with an unincriminating answer. But there was nothing that she could say.  It was the truth.  She knew it was. Kaoru sat clenching her fists.  Death waited patiently for her to answer him.  She looked at him a little nervously; maybe she could change the subject again. " Before I answer-- I want to know something, why didn't you come?"
 " Huh?"
 " I was calling for you, why didn't you answer me? I know you heard me."
 " I saved you from making a terrible error."
 " What?"
 " If I had come to you, Heaven would have known about it-- and they would have gotten the hint that you were falling in love w--"
 Kaoru suddenly jumped to her feet, " I'M NOT FALLING---" She trailed off, surprised at her sudden outburst.  She looked around her nervously, then said very quietly. " -- In love."
 " I hope not." Death waited as she sat back down and smoothed out her Kimono. His eyes were narrow and serious.  " Nevertheless, You should not call for me under those types of circumstances in such a loud way.  All of heaven can hear you.  I had to make excuses for you.  If you had just told him right off that you couldn't have a relationship with him, none of this would be happening."
 Kaoru sighed heavily. " What should I do?"
 " TELL him about rule number 3!"
 " But--"
 Death looked at her sternly.  " He's NOT going to die if you tell him… He's not on my Death List."
 Kaoru wordlessly nodded.  She slowly rose, as if all her energy had been drained from her.  " So- can I leave?"
Death nodded.  " Good luck, Kamiya-san.  You're a bright young angel, and I know you'll do what's best."
The encouragement he gave her only made her cringe. Kaoru walked from the mansion in purgatory and lifted into the air.  Her wings seemed heavier. She flew down towards earth and the dojo deep in her own thoughts of Kenshin.
He had decided he would make her fall in love with him, and remember him again.  That was the reason he'd cheered up after that horrible night of the storm.  But, this news would shatter that hope that he'd found.   She cringed at the damage she was about to do, but she couldn't fool herself any longer.  She was an angel, he was a human… and to love him was forbidden.  She would tell him the truth.

******

 Kaoru appeared in the courtyard and looked around anxiously.
 " Kenshin?!" she called out to him.
 No answer.
 " Strange, I told him to wait.  It hasn't been that long has it?" She went into the dojo.
 Not there.
 She went into the kitchen.
 Not there.
 She searched everywhere.  But no one was at home.  The place was completely empty.
 " Hmmm… I wonder where everyone went." She shrugged and sat down on the porch.  " I guess I'll have to wait for him to come back.  I won't know where he is unless he calls to me." She thought to herself.
 " Kamiya-san…"
 Kaoru jumped and whirled around as Aoshi stood in the doorway.  He wasn't looking at her, rather directly in front of him and she was on the steps below him.  Kaoru gaped.
 " I know you're there, Kamiya-san." Aoshi said slowly.
 " You weren't there a moment ago…" she said nervously, more to herself then anything else.
 " I came in through the back door."
 " YOU CAN HEAR ME?!" She stood up and took a few steps away from him.
 " I can feel your presence, and hear you in my mind."
 " But--"
 " You're looking for Kenshin?"
 Kaoru didn't answer.
 " Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Misao have taken him to Megumi's clinic."
 " To the clinic? Why?"
 Aoshi held up a note that had been in his room.  Apparently Kaoru hadn't checked in there.  " I think you'll find out soon enough."
 Kaoru swallowed hard, she would deal with the fact he could hear her when she got back.  She had a sinking feeling that something was happening to Kenshin.

******

 " You're joking!" Megumi's voice heightened with surprise at what Sano told her.  Sano shook his head and gestured towards the other room where Kenshin sat with Misao and Yahiko watching him.  Kenshin had a pensive look on his face.
 " He's gone freakin' nuts! I swear to you-- he has one man conversations with Kaoru!"
 " Ken-san isn't insane! I can't believe it…" Megumi shook her head.
 " I saw and heard it with my own eyes and ears… babe, you KNOW I wouldn't lie to you."
 Megumi nodded slowly and then stood up. " Very well, bring him in.  I'm no psychiatrist, but I do know something about the workings of the mind.  And-- if he really is crazy, then I will find out."
 " Thanks Megumi." Sano gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then walked from the room.  She saw through the open door as Sano said a few words to Kenshin; the redhead nodded and then stood up.
 As he entered the office, Megumi offered him a seat and then sat across from him.
 " Ken-san… How are you feeling today?" She said with a slightly forced smile.
" Just fine." Kenshin smiled back at her.  " But--not meaning to be rude… why don't we cut to the chase Megumi-dono." His smile faded to that of a little worry.  How was he going to convince her that he wasn't insane?  No one could see or hear Kaoru but him.
" Ohh- yes, well…Sanosuke and everyone seem to believe that-- well…" She tried to put it as kindly as possible. " Well, they're concerned for you, because--"
 " I know what they're scared about, Megumi-dono." Kenshin interrupted her.  He smiled reassuringly.  " I assure you, I'm not insane."
 " Ken-san…"
 
 Just then Kaoru flew in through the wall.
 " Kenshin!"
 Kenshin's eyes widened and he couldn't help but shift his gaze to her.  Kaoru landed gracefully and hurried over to him.
 Megumi studied his sudden nervous look and began to feel a little nervous herself.  Kenshin was looking past her.
 " Ken-san?"
 " Oh! Hai, Megumi-dono." Kenshin looked back to her and smiled. " What is it?"
 " Ken-san… I want you to tell me with all honesty… Have you been talking with Kaoru-san?"
 Kaoru froze and looked over to Megumi.  " How does she know?" She then inhaled sharply, the answer to her own question becoming evident. " Oh no, so that's why everyone brought him here.  They probably think he's gone insane!"
 Kenshin didn't know what to do.  Under this woman's gaze, he didn't want to lie.  And he felt like she would know if he did.  Kenshin had no choice; he HAD to tell her the truth.  He gave Kaoru a side-glance.  He could tell she'd figured out what he was being questioned for.  The beautiful angel looked back at him nervously.
 " Kenshin-- "
 She then remembered when Juniperia-sensei had said.
 
 " Rule number 2, you may make yourself known only to the client and the clients immediate family or friends.  No one outside that circle shall know you exist."

 Megumi was a close friend.  Wasn't she? Weren't they all?
 " Tell her about me Kenshin!" She said nervously.  " I hope that she will believe you though."
 Kenshin nodded and then shifted gaze back to Megumi.
 " Yes," He looked at her very seriously.  " I have been talking with Kaoru."