WARNING SPOILERS for the memories arc and OVA’s for all of you who haven’t seen them yet.
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By Starlight

This is a songfic written about Kenshin’ feelings about Tomoe after they became intimately involved but in that fleeting time before he fall asleep and she left. I am in a really morbid mood right now so be warned. This is a very tormented fiction about how Kenshin feels about her and how he believes her feelings towards him are. This is based on the song By Starlight by the Smashing Pumpkins it is on the Album ‘Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness’

By starlight I’ll kiss you
And promise to be your one and only

Kenshin lay back as Tomoe’s breathing became heavy as she drifted into sleep. ‘She is so beautiful’ he thought ‘She deserves so much better than me.’ He thought of her as a light in the dark, his body so exhausted from there earlier play. He loved her and the thought was a shock even to him as he believed himself totally incapable of loving anyone.

I’ll make you feel happy
And leave you to be lost in mine

Her happiness. He promised he’d protect it no matter the cost. He meant that promise with all of his heart. He also realized that with her happiness came his own. The thought bought a smile even to his lips. Without that heartfelt promise he never would have know what it felt like to be loved by another. ‘Wait’ he thought ‘Not just anyone, but Tomoe my beautiful wife’

And where will we go, what will we do?
Soon said I, will know

For all of this time he had lived with her made a life yet had never had a moment of intimacy. From here on in everything changed. No longer a Hitokiri hiding with a woman posing as his wife, now he and Tomoe were a husband living out his days with the woman he loved. From then on in life would be totally different for the both of them. Perhaps it would become better perhaps they could both finally be happy in there lives of hardship.

Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Cause her eyes were as vacant as the seas

‘You do not desive her’ The though hit Kenshin unbidden and unwelcome yet deep down he knew. ‘Why would such a wonderful woman fall in love with a killer?’. It seemed when ever she saw him kill she became absorbed and unaware of all else. ‘Why should she have to put up with that? Why should she?’ Kenshin’s heart sank Tomoe was too precious a woman for him to distroy.

Dead eyes, are you just like me?
And all along, we knew we’d carry on
Just to belong

Perhaps not however, Tomoe had stayed with him through all of the hardship it had taken for them to get this far. She was as lonely as he was, maybe she understood more than Kenshin himself did. Her life had been destroyed by something. Now Kenshin was her life, and her his perhaps they just belonged.

By starlight I know you
As lovely as a wish granted true

Tomoe was deep in sleep now and Kenshin watched her carefully. Taking in every detail of her face and every curve of her body. She was a blessing to him his one ray of hope in a darkness of nothingness. Like a dream she was perfect everything about her almost angelic.

My life has been empty, my life has been untrue
And does she really know, who I really am?

Yet again the Hitokiri part of him took control. ‘I kill people for the government, I kill for money, what could she possible see or want from me?’ Tensing his grip Tomoe began to rouse from the change of touch. Suddenly aware of her movement in his arms he loosened his grip again. ‘Does she know, she must’

Does she really know me at last
Dead eyes, are you just like me?

Kenshin relaxed again allowing his head to slide back and in doing so Tomoe’s sleeping form stretched across his body, both wrapped up together. He began to drift off into sleep, deep sleep unlike anything he’d had for a long time. Perhaps they were alike, alone in the world with no one else to love or give it in return. Perhaps she wanted to be loved by someone, anyone. ‘Perhaps she loves me and in doing so accepts me?’ with that final thought Kenshin drifted into a dreamless sleep.